Don’t Let the Flu Bug Bite

You know how when you’re daughter, who has been on puffers for a violent cough and antibiotics for Strep, is standing across the kitchen island from you and she projectile coughs, landing her spit into your open mouth?  You might ask yourself, why is your mouth open?  Naturally, it is because you were in the middle of conversation, no doubt about to ask her to cover her mouth while she coughs.  Every parent, guardian, care person knows when there is a sick child in your home, you are 100% going to get vomit/boogers/poop/spit/phlegm (insert anything I may have forgotten here) on your person, if not ingested into you.  We have been passing around this nasty cough and head cold since the end of December.  It lasts about a week and they don’t share symptoms together.  One at a time.  Then it COMES BACK!!  This year has been rough.

So here is a little pick me up for all the cabin feverish caretakers and the sickies battling the day.  Good luck, see you on the other side!

“What room is a ghost not allowed to enter?”

The Living Room

“What can’t you toot in an Apple store?”

It doesn’t have windows

“How was the restaurant on the moon?”

Food was good but no atmosphere

“How does a tiny robot wave?”

With a micro-wave

“Did you hear the joke about the roof?”

Nevermind, it’s over your head

“Where does a book sleep?”

Under it’s covers

 

While I was sleeping…

Oh, hi there! It’s been a few sleeps, so let’s see what you’ve missed.  First big life change, I went to back to work last March at the hubbys accounting firm. Say hello to the newest Junior Tax Associate. I know what you are thinking, so fancy.  I got my very own cubicle and I felt like a grown up (in my moms clothes).  I worked up until June and they let me have the hours I needed to still pick up and drop off the kids.  I am very lucky!  If you told university (for English) me that I was going to work in an accounting firm, I would have laughed in your face.  The kind of disbelieving chortle that makes your nose shoot out little wet gifts.  Nonetheless, I had a great teacher (the hubby) and I go back to it after March break is over.

Life change number two, we drove to DISNEY in August.  I mentioned our upcoming trip in my last post.  I cannot even begin to explain how amazing it was.  Most things you have to sugarcoat, but Disney really is magic.  F vomited all over the bed one morning so naturally I sink-washed the sheets the best I could and put them in a bag and outside the door so the room would not smell.  How Canadian of me, I put vomit sheets outside in August in Florida.  It’s, like, really hot in Florida in August.  I left a hot, humid smelly bag of treasure.   Those had to go straight into the garbage.  That day we had to bring extra shorts to the park on account of diarreah, and threw out a pair of his underwear.  It was still the best trip.  For real!

Last life change, we got a puppy.  His name is Ace and he is a black goldendoodle.  My daughter, A, has been asking since she could speak for a dog and I was nowhere near ready. I will say the kids are a great age now, they can help out but I am still doing 99% of the work.  In the beginning I had a few of the “what have I done” moments, but he is a great dog. Very smart, follows me around the house, and adores the kids.  I fell in love.  I am saying this after he chewed one of my new, only worn once, heels earlier today.

https://allforthemotherhood.wordpress.com

 

 

 

Hello there…

It has not been a year yet since I last wrote, so I will consider this post a victory.  It has been long enough that so many little changes are new but on the whole everything is the same.  The kids have actually grown like weeds.  It sneaks up on you in little ways, like when you go to put lotion on them after a bath but can no longer reach their shoulders from a sitting position.  Or when they visit my sister’s girls, and A is more than double the height of her 2 year old cousin.

We have done some fun things since we last spoke, like surprise the kids with a trip to a Niagara Falls indoor water park, go 5 pin bowling, try ice fishing and head back to the movie theater after a hiatus (let’s not talk about the reason for said hiatus, only that the boys were definitely not ready to sit still but they are good now). The hubby took them skiing over the school holidays and now L wants to be Eddie the Eagle.  skiingI have not skied in over ten years, and even then I was a “only on the bunny hill, don’t look down” kind of skier. I picture two scenarios if I try again: a broken limb or carrying the skis down the hill while my kids whiz by me and ask what’s wrong.  Can’t wait!

There is something that I am so excited for I can barely sit still (just kidding, I am great at sitting).  We are taking the kids to Disney this summer!  A is 9 and the boys will be 7.  They are old enough to stay awake all day, watch fireworks yet still young enough to enjoy the magic.  Originally I had planned to surprise them the day we left, but surprises are not my forte.  For the Niagara Falls getaway we pulled the kids out of school on a Thursday to Friday so the park would not be packed.  I told the kids we were taking them to an allergy specialist that was far away so there was a reason to miss school, and that reason was not a fun one.  All it did was make the kids nervous and A was constantly asking what she might be allergic too and if the test would hurt.  Not the best idea, and the reveal could have been better.  We told them after about an hour on the road that we were going to a water park in Niagara and their suitcases were in the back but F thought that was a joke and only believed us when we arrived.  It turned out to be so fun, but I think this time we will tell them about Disney soon and use it to our advantage.  Not quite a bargaining chip, because I do not want to take away the trip for any reason but as motivation for good listening at home and school.  They are pretty good kids so this should work like magic!

Well, it almost school pick up time, Happy Valentine’s Day to you all.  Drink bubbly and eat great food for me.

 

Say What?

You know when you say something without quite thinking and wonder where that came from?  Well, there is another level when you become a parent.  You find yourself saying things to your kids and thinking “wow, never thought I’d be stringing those words together”.  I have been trying to remember a few of the good ones, so here goes:

“Don’t scratch your nose with the fork, you might poke your eye.”  Here, I thought to myself, forks and (human) eyeballs do not naturally come out of one’s mouth in the same sentence.

“Take the tip of the banana out of your nose.”  I guess my kids have itchy noses.

“Please don’t lick the school railing.”  It had rained and he was thirsty.

“Don’t drink the bath water.”  That water is cleaning your bum.

“Toilet bowls are not for hands.” Yuck.

“No, you can’t put the lip gloss you found in the parking lot on your lips.” That one is more predictable, but I am running out of material.

Last for today,  “Please do not say boobie butt naked penis toot. That is rude.” Who knew you could make up a sentence of only “bathroom words”, as the school calls it.  Hard not to laugh when they find it so hysterical.  Better to save it for the farm with “Poopy”, otherwise known as Popi.  I am so glad to have you Popi, the kids adore you and they can get out all their “poops”.

That’s all for today folks. Wait-What-Meme-08

 

 

 

Hibernation

Now that the sun is coming out, I realized just how much time we have spent sick since January.  I seem to have had at least one child home sick for a day, every week.  As soon as one gets better, it circles around again.  I am so thankful for the warmer weather so I can throw the windows open and get some fresh air in here.  When I spend an entire day inside, cabin fever sets in.  Spending three months inside, I seem to lack the desire to venture out.  I am growing overly attached to Netflix and carbs.  Thank goodness for March Break and healthier (minus A’s persistent cough) children!

We had visits with family and friends, sleepovers, a Museum trip, parks, a movie at the theatre for A, and of course a St. Patrick’s Day Party.  I was so not ready for back to school, and unfortunately the kids were not thrilled either.  L has been having a rough time after Christmas break, I have had to physically carry him to the classroom door but he went today only saying he wished he could stay home.  But so did the other two.  Easter making the the next two weeks shorter is my saving grace right now.  Is it summer yet?

One of the times A was home sick, in the beginning, I was not sure she was sick enough to stay home.  I told her I was just running errands and cleaning in hopes she would decide to go to school on her own.  She responded with “okay mommy. How far do we have to run?”.  I love how literal kids are!  I leave you with a selfie the kids took right before our party.  See you outside.

 

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But Why Mommy?

IMG_2545You know when you have those days that make you want to down an entire bottle of wine at night?  This week, for us, has not been those kind, it has been pretty great.  Or maybe that was just yesterday and my mind is creating temporary amnesia for survival.  In all seriousness, raising kids can be exhausting but there is always at least one moment in a day that makes up for anything that was stressful or not so fun.  For example, last week my son, L, punched his friend in the face.  For no reason.  It was not a hard punch, but that is not the point.  He had no idea why he did it, but I can tell you, he was in big trouble and felt terrible.  I never thought my son would do such a thing, and I was livid.  It took me about a week to calm down about it.  Then I tried to give him a tiny, minuscule, break because he is 5 and a good kid and I am sure he did not want to hurt his friend.  Too many superhero games? I cannot figure it out, but for a brief second I wondered if I was raising a psychopath.  Who hits someone for no reason? Oh yeah, kids.  That was an I needed to own a liquor store kind of night, except that it wasn’t.  I was too emotional to have any wine.  That morning though, started off great, and he came out of school with a big smile an a hug.  Unfortunately, the day ended on a sour note, but it happens.

I can sum up a good day versus a wine day by whether my kids are repeatedly throwing out the random I love you’s or the but why mommy’s.  Only the but why mommy’s are more like “b-b-b-but why-y-y-y-y mommmmmmmy”.  A person can only take so many whines in a lifetime.  Being a kid is tough.  There are so many rules and there are so many kids that do not follow those rules.  Parenting styles can be very different and it is hard, for instance, for my boys to see a friend climbing up the school fence and running around throwing rocks when they are not allowed to do that.  Or for my daughter to see friends with cool gadgets and more freedom, playing on the street without supervision, when she is not allowed to do that.  I am not judging (mostly) but I have my own rules that make me feel comfortable.  Unfortunately, kids do not understand that I make rules out of love and for their own safety.  I do tell them this, especially on those occasions when the whines emerge, and I am hopeful that one day they will get it.  Maybe it won’t be until they have kids of their own, but maybe it will be when they start babysitting.  I am all about giving it to them straight, or the guilt trip if they deserve it.  I love them, and everything I do is for them whether they like it or not.  I have used the phrase “is your name so and so? No you are F/L/A, and this is what we do/have”, or the “I love you so much, why would you act like that and make me sad when I was just trying to take you to the park?”.

So, before you throw yourself another pity party (some are totally acceptable and healing, but try saying it out loud so someone else can kick your ass into gear), remember how hard being a kid can be.  My goal is for them to have a happy and long childhood, and sometimes I need to change my grumpy “I am tired of this” attitude and remember to laugh more and that making a joke or distraction can end a kid’s moment of despair instead of falling into the despair with them.  Also, I could now really use a glass of wine.

Old Friends

I have decided to treat this blog like an old friend, no matter how much time goes by you can always pick up right where you left off.  It has been over a month since my last post, but hopefully we will have more time together before another separation.  Let’s see where to start.  Summer ended faster than I imagined it would and it took about a month to get back into the school routine.  F and L had a couple accidents at school, I guess that happens when you spend months at the cottage peeing on a tree and then go back to school and you have to go all the way to the bathroom.  The waking up, brushing your teeth and getting dressed before heading downstairs for breakfast has been a little difficult.  There has been a lot of “hurry ups”, “put the lego down”, “put the pen down (in A’s case) and “you forgot socks”.  It does make it easier picking out clothes the night before and putting them on the foot of their beds, but mornings are crazy no matter what.  The more time I have, the harder it is because I am more laid back and then all of a sudden we should have started walking over to school 5 minutes ago.  Trying to rush a child is like trying to run in a vat of peanut butter while your legs are asleep.

This year, we have the pleasure of watching our friend’s (and neighbour’s) son, B, aged 4.  He just started JK and he comes home with us after school.  They call him gentle B, he is great!  My niece, M, who is now 1, comes to hang out with me twice a week.  She is such a smart and easy child (as easy as 1 year olds are, lets not kid ourselves here) and goes down for her nap without complaint.  I am lucky to have three kids who love sleep, and am so happy my sister also has a sleep enthusiast.  She will head to Montessori at 18 months, so I am enjoying my window of time watching her.  I am sure there will be many future babysitting gigs, but having a little one in the house has been fun.  Gives me the baby fix I need while at the same time helps me say no to more kids of my own!  I got a glimpse at what it would be like to have another and I think three is a good number. Little ones, new to the whole walking thing, try to throw themselves down stairs and eat wires, while 5 and 7 year olds are asking me to look at their picture, get them food and water, fix their toy… the list never ends.  On one particular visit with my sister and niece, M was unsteadily circling a coffee table while all three of my kids had to come sit on my lap.  As dreamy as having another baby sounds, I am tapped out.  L asked me yesterday on the way to school to have 10 brothers and to put a sister in my belly for A.  The good thing about kids is I can just say no, and L replies “okay, I will just have 10 kids”.  We’ll see about that, L, we’ll see.

I have also been asked to occasionally watch two girls, aged 4 and 6, part time.  So the house is full, I bring in a little bit of grocery money and I get to do the whole staying at home thing.  Well, I have M tomorrow, so we’ll see if I get another post out.  Until next time.

When Kids are Hilarious Pt. II

I keep telling myself to continue my pervious post and write down more of the funny things the kids have said over the years, so here is a list of things they have mispronounced.  I mentioned number 2 in the the previous post but it’s too good not to write down again.  Hopefully this is funny for everyone and not just one of those things a parent thinks is hilarious and everyone else is left feeling awkward.

  1. Snuck.  “I saw a snuck on the road mummy”.  A, age 2, explaining the sighting of a skunk.
  2. F* ck.  “Hello F*ckies”.  A, age 2, saying good morning to the froggies in our frog pond, which was located right outside our front door.
  3. Porched Eggs. “Can you cut the yellow part out of my porched egg?”.  F and L, age 5, enjoying poached eggs for breakfast.
  4. Fling. “Can you push me on the fling?”. My nephew, K, age 3, needing a couple hundred pushes on the swing.
  5. Lumin. “It is in the lumin boat mommy”.  F and L explaining that their fishing rod is in the aluminum boat.
  6. Motorboat. “Want to go motorboating?” This one isn’t pronounced wrong, it’s just hilarious.  The boys, F, L and K, aged 5 and 3, take their kids kayaks and run back and forth in the shallow water of the cottage beach and have named it motorboating.  They are also, half of the time, naked.
  7. The Rabbids.  “I see the Rabbids!” F and L, starting at age 4 but still say today, as we pass the rapids on the way to the cottage.
  8. Auntie Easy. I do not think a quote is required for this one.  When my eldest nephew was 2 he had trouble saying my name, Lindsay, so he called me Auntie Easy.  It took me a minute or two to understand why everyone laughed so hard. He’s figured it out now.
  9. China. “Boys have a penis and girls have a China”. F, age 4, giving an anatomy lesson.
  10. Posed to. “Remember that I posed to swing first”. F, age 4-5, reminding everyone that he was supposed to be first to swing.

That is all for now, but kids are hilarious everyday, so it won’t be the last post like this. There is a part III in the near future!

Inside Voices

I don’t know why I tell the kids to use inside voices.  Well, technically I do, as their talking voices are more like shouts and their whipser voices are even louder.  However, when we go outside and they begin screaming (sorry talking) it’s hard to say quiet down when they are no longer inside.  Often they make unintelligible noises just to be loud and respond with “but I am outside mommy”.

This morning, I am still lying in bed, and by still I mean it is after 7, 7:38 now to be exact, because my sister-in-law, K, is up for the week at the cottage.  I believe she has said “shhhh”, “use inside voices” and “quiet guys” 100 times before sending them outside where I can now hear them “talking” through the window.  Time to get up and jump in the lake… After I eat the whole world because at the cottage I am a bottomless pit.  Must be something in the air.

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Welcome to summer!! Yesterday did not feel like the last day of school when I picked the kids up. It felt as if I was walking around in memory. The only difference was the kids gave their teachers big hugs and their backpacks were filled to the brim. This morning when we woke I could feel the excitement building and the energy in my bones. We are still in our pjs having a leisurely breakfast before we pack our bags and head to the cottage. It’s glorious.
After school yesterday, and after a bit of park time, I took the kids and one of A’s friends to see Inside Out. What a fantastic movie, and it was the boys first 3D experience. We managed to sit through the whole thing without a hundred bathroom breaks! I should always bring the boys to movies when they are exhausted.

Now I look forward to just being together and doing whatever we feel like. The beach is calling my name, time to pack the bags!